Ari Levisohn: Welcome to Into the Verse, where we share new and unexpected insights about the parsha … diving deep into the verses to uncover the Torah’s own commentary on itself.

Hi, this is Ari Levisohn. In Parshat Vayishlach, Jacob hears that his brother Esau is coming to meet him with 400 armed men. And understandably, Jacob’s afraid, because when he last saw Esau twenty years earlier, Esau was planning to kill him. If you were with us last week, Rabbi Fohrman ended the episode by making an interesting claim about this story. He said that Jacob’s encounter with Esau in Vayishlach is somehow an expression of Jacob’s godliness, that this is somehow the primary example of Jacob’s greatness. 

Only, if you look at the story, it’s not so obvious where that greatness is. Jacob’s afraid of what will happen, so he takes steps to protect his family and help the encounter with Esau turn out peacefully. That’s something we can admire, sure. It sounds prudent, it sounds responsible. But I’m not sure I would have called it “godly” or “an expression of Divine values.”

Well, in this week’s episode, Ami Silver argues that Jacob’s motivations go far beyond just protecting his family. What Ami uncovers is a beautiful, heroic narrative hiding right in plain sight. Here’s Ami.

Ami Silver: Hi, I'm Ami Silver. I want to take a look with you at a key moment in Parshat Vayishlach, when Jacob and Esau are reunited for the first time in twenty years.

Just to summarize: Jacob had taken the firstborn blessings from their father Isaac, and Esau vowed to murder him in revenge. But Jacob fled for his life and spent the next couple decades in the house of his father in-law, Laban. Now Jacob is finally making his way home, and by the look of things, Esau seems ready to make good on his promise to kill his brother. But things don’t go as expected. Jacob sends Esau a bunch of gifts and makes a big show of honor, and in response, Esau ends up hugging and kissing him. So once again, Jacob manages to evade the wrath of Esau and emerges from this encounter unscathed.

But I want to ask you: What exactly are we supposed to learn from this? That Jacob had good street smarts? That when push came to shove, he managed to distract Esau with some gifts? So… we learn that if we’re ever in a pinch, bowing to the adversary and playing to his ego can be an effective way out? Is that Jacob’s lasting legacy? Seems like an odd lesson.

I think that if we dig deeper into this story, we’ll discover that there’s something more profound taking place. Let’s replay the story more slowly, paying close attention to its details, and I’ll show you what I mean.

Gifts for Esau

When Jacob hears that Esau is on his way with 400 men, he’s terrified. So Jacob splits up his family in the hopes that at least some will survive the coming onslaught, and he begs God for protection.

He also sends Esau gifts, and we’re not talking about just a greeting card and a bouquet of flowers. He literally sends every type of domesticated animal you can think of: 200 female goats, 20 male goats, 200 female sheep, 20 rams, 30 mother camels and their nursing calves, 40 cows, 10 bulls, 20 female donkeys, and 10 male donkeys. Whew!

And if you think about it, this isn’t just a one-time gift – it’s an investment. Jacob sends males and females of each species, enough for Esau to breed herds and herds of livestock. In ancient agricultural society, this might have been the equivalent of giving him a chunk of stock in Apple or Google. It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

So it really does seem like a flat-out bribe. Not nice to use those words, maybe, but that’s what it seems like. To accompany the bribe, it seems like there was also a healthy dose of over-the-top flattery. Jacob tells his servants to bring the animals to Esau and say לְעַבְדְּךָ לְיַעֲקֹב – These belong to your servant, Jacob. מִנְחָה הִוא שְׁלוּחָה לַאדֹנִי לְעֵשָׂו – It’s a tribute for my master, Esau (Genesis 32:19). Jacob almost seems like he’s groveling: Esau, my master, please accept this tribute from thy humble servant Jacob!

Then, when Jacob finally gets within range of Esau, וַיִּשְׁתַּחוּ אַרְצָה שֶׁבַע פְּעָמִים – he bows down not once, but seven times! עַד-גִּשְׁתּוֹ עַד-אָחִיו – until he reached his brother (Genesis 33:3). It really seems like Jacob will do anything to butter up Esau and hopefully convince him to spare his family.

And the crazy thing is, it actually worked! Esau sees him and seems to inexplicably undergo a complete about face: וַיָּרָץ עֵשָׂו לִקְרָאתוֹ – He runs to Jacob, וַיְחַבְּקֵהוּ וַיִּפֹּל עַל-צַוָּארָו – he hugs him and falls on his neck, וַיִּשָּׁקֵהוּ – he kisses Jacob, וַיִּבְכּוּ – and then they cry (33:4). It’s a love fest! Jacob’s machinations worked after all.

But why did Esau fall for this? This is the guy who vowed to kill his brother over their father’s blessings! And he’s been holding the grudge for twenty years! Now Jacob gives him a fancy petting zoo and calls him nice names and he lets it all go?!

So maybe Esau is just a greedy buffoon. One moment he’s full of rage, but when you buy him off with goodies he’s your best friend. Could be. But I think there’s evidence that something else was afoot.

Echoes from the Past

To get to the heart of what’s going on here between Jacob and Esau, I’d like to take a step back for a second and play one of our favorite games: Where have we heard this all before?

Ask yourself: Where else, earlier in the Torah, have we encountered a scene of sorts that involves brothers, in which there is talk about one brother becoming extremely wealthy? One brother being a master over the other? One brother bowing down to the other?

Well, wouldn’t you know it, all of these elements appeared twenty years earlier, in the blessings that Isaac gave to Jacob – the blessings that were intended to go to Esau. That was the last time these brothers crossed paths, and it’s the reason they’re meeting again only now. Let’s take a look at those brachot (blessings).

Isaac’s blessing began: וְיִתֶּן-לְךָ הָאֱלֹקים מִטַּל הַשָּׁמַיִם וּמִשְׁמַנֵּי הָאָרֶץ – God will give to you from the dew of heaven and the fat of the land, וְרֹב דָּגָן וְתִירֹשׁ – with abundant grains and vines (Genesis 27:28). In other words: God’s going to make you really rich. You will receive the Divine gifts of rain and crops.

Now, those are gifts that only God can provide. But when Jacob meets Esau twenty years later, he gives him the next best thing: enough livestock to allow Esau to build up his own commercial empire.

Isaac’s blessing also spoke about gaining power and status. He said: יַעַבְדוּךָ עַמִּים – nations will serve you; הֱוֵה גְבִיר לְאַחֶיךָ – you will be a master over your brothers. So maybe it’s no accident that Jacob calls himself Esau’s servant – עַבְדְּךָ יַעֲקֹב – and calls Esau אֲדֹנִי – my master.

And look at the final element in Isaac’s blessing, bowing: וְיִשְׁתַּחֲווּ לְךָ בְּנֵי אִמֶּךָ – Your mother’s children will bow to you. When the brothers meet again, one of Rebecca’s children is indeed bowing to the other. Jacob bows to Esau seven times.

And it goes still further. Isaac said וְיִשְׁתַּחֲווּ לְךָ לְאֻמִּים – Nations will bow to you (27:29). Well, after Jacob bows to Esau, his sons, the nascent tribes of Israel, all bow down to Esau one by one. They would one day grow into a great nation, and they were all bowing to Esau at this very moment.

Take My Blessing

When we put the pieces together, we begin to see a startling picture. It’s as if the words of Isaac’s blessing were coming to life right before Esau’s eyes. At this moment, Jacob seems to actually be giving the blessings back to Esau.

And Jacob seems to intimate as much. A bit later on in their encounter, he says: קַח-נָא אֶת-בִּרְכָתִי – Please take my blessing, אֲשֶׁר הֻבָאת לָךְ – that has been given to you (33:11). On the surface, Jacob is simply talking about the animals he sent his brother. But after hearing all the other echoes of the original blessing, we can’t ignore the deeper meaning behind these words: Take my bracha, that was meant to be yours.

Perhaps Jacob’s antics weren’t just bribes and flattery after all. This whole conflict was about the blessings he had taken twenty years ago. Perhaps Jacob was trying to set things straight – even the scales, as it were – between him and his brother.

So that might be part of what’s going on here, but I want to argue to you that beyond questions of wealth and power, Jacob was looking to make things right at an entirely different level, too. Because, remarkably, if we broaden our lens and keep looking at these two episodes side by side, the parallels between them actually continue.

Twenty years ago, Jacob walked into Isaac’s room claiming to be Esau. Right away Isaac was suspicious, so he said: גְּשָׁה-נָּא וַאֲמֻשְׁךָ בְּנִי – Come close and let me feel you, son (27:21). He wanted to pat down Jacob to determine his true identity.

Now fast-forward twenty years: As Jacob makes his approach toward Esau, he bows seven times – עַד-גִּשְׁתּוֹ עַד-אָחִיו – until he came close to his brother. גִּשְׁתּוֹ… גְּשָׁה… it’s the same word both times.

And just like Jacob came close to Isaac and his father put his hands on him, here too Jacob comes close to Esau, and his brother puts his hands on him – וַיְחַבְּקֵהוּ – he wraps him in an embrace.

And there’s more. The next thing Isaac told Jacob was: גְּשָׁה-נָּא וּשְׁקָה-לִּי בְּנִי – Come close and kiss me, son (27:26). And twenty years later, the next thing Esau does is: וַיִּפֹּל עַל-צַוָּארָו וַיִּשָּׁקֵהוּ – He fell upon Jacob’s neck and kissed him. And Esau didn’t just kiss him anywhere; he kissed Jacob on the neck. Now, Jacob’s neck had also played an important role back when he took those blessings. Jacob was afraid that his smooth skin would give him away, so in order to make him seem more like Esau, Rebecca took hairy goat skins and placed them on Jacob’s hands, וְעַל חֶלְקַת צַוָּארָיו – and on the smooth of his neck (27:16). Now, Esau kisses him in that very same spot.

And perhaps most importantly, let’s talk about the conclusion of each of these scenes. Both stories end in tears. When Esau realized that Jacob had taken the blessings, it says: וַיִּשָּׂא עֵשָׂו קֹלוֹ וַיֵּבְךְּ – He raised his voice and cried (27:38). Twenty years later, after the brothers embrace and kiss, וַיִּבְכּוּ – they also cried.

Tears of Reconciliation

We’re seeing that these two stories, separated by twenty years, are following almost all the same steps. But there’s a major contrast between these stories that I believe might hold the key to understanding the larger meaning behind this later encounter. It has to do with the tears.

Although both stories end in tears, the tears are very different from one another. Twenty years ago, Esau was crying tears of anguish and rage, tears that were transformed into a vengeful promise to kill his brother. Now, twenty years later, Jacob and Esau both cry – they’re crying together.

If we put it all together, it seems to me that these were tears of true healing and reconciliation. And they were caused by Jacob’s initiative: Jacob knew that there was one thing and one thing only that could repair his relationship with Esau. He had to go back to the root of it all – to the blessings he took from their father.

So as he approached Esau, Jacob acted out those blessings before him. He was showing Esau that he was ready to let go of the brachot and give them back to him. It wasn’t a show or a bribe. Jacob was coming clean. He was willing to do what was necessary to restore their shattered relationship. And when Esau saw this, he was moved to tears.

The brothers embrace, and in their embrace, they then retrace the steps of Jacob’s earlier deception. Only this time, it’s different. The same steps that were once used to deceive and tear the brothers apart are now bringing them closer together. This wasn’t a replay of the past; it was redeeming that earlier episode, repairing the messy roots of their conflict.

In the end, there is a moral to this story, and it isn’t that you need to do whatever's necessary to come out on top. If anything, it’s that you need to do whatever’s necessary to heal a painful past, especially when you contributed to that pain.

Once upon a time, Jacob covered his neck to deceive and take what was meant for Esau. But now he’s willing to literally stick his neck out to his brother in a sincere effort to make amends. Jacob didn’t know whether Esau would attack him or kiss him. But his willingness to initiate and be vulnerable toward his brother proved to be his greatest strength.

For me, this speaks to the heart of what reconciliation is all about. All too often, we remain in conflict with other people simply because neither of us is willing to budge, to be vulnerable enough to admit fault or show the other one how much we sincerely want to fix this relationship.

Jacob had the courage to rebuild what was broken, to repair the wounds of the past. That is a model to aspire to, it’s a legacy to be proud of.

Ari: Hi, Ari again. Here’s what I’m taking away from this week’s piece: When Jacob reaches out to Esau, he’s doing something so restorative and beautiful – but also something that’s so hard, we often don’t even try to do it. It’s really hard to move past a fight you’ve had with someone. It’s so emotionally vulnerable to say you’re sorry, and people will spend their whole lives in a conflict because they can’t bring themselves to take that first step. But Jacob decided he wasn’t willing to stay stuck in a conflict with his brother. And that was a heroic choice, because Jacob wasn’t just emotionally vulnerable, he was physically vulnerable too. Jacob could have made so many legitimate excuses for not reaching out to Esau, but he realizes that brothers can’t fight. That is just unacceptable. So he puts his neck on the line, and in a symbolic way, he even offers the blessings back. He is willing to do whatever it takes, all for the sake of healing this relationship. What a powerful lesson for us.

Credits

This episode was written and recorded by Ami Silver. 

When it originally aired on Aleph Beta, it was edited by Rivky Stern. 

Into the Verse editing was done by Sarah Penso.

Our senior editor is Beth Lesch.

Our audio editor is Hillary Guttman. 

Our editorial director is me, Ari Levisohn. 

Thank you so much for listening, and we’ll see you next week.